Tag Archives: #loveyourself

Fear Factor

Aside

I’m struck by the reaction to HB2, and I guess by the reaction to LGBT issues in general. This is apparently a very polarizing topic and I’m really, really trying to understand why.

I grew up in the community theatre environment, where any number of people involved were gay. Perhaps it’s because I was introduced to the idea as a young person, but I’ve always just accepted that they are who they are, just as I am who I am. It’s never upset me, never confused me, never disgusted me, and certainly never scared me.

Now, many years later, it’s becoming commonplace for the LGBT community to be more open about their choices. They’re hiding it less. I think that’s awesome. I think anything that helps people be happier is a good thing. A GREAT thing, even. Help me understand why it’s not, please.

Those who are gay, lesbian, bisexual,or transexual are not trying to get me to change my mind about my own sexuality. They’re not trying to convert anyone. They just want to live their life just as I want to live mine.

I look at it this way: some people love the mountains. Some love the ocean. Some love to snow ski. Others choose to hike. Still others like to lie in the sun all day. They all do their own thing and it doesn’t affect those who aren’t into those activities. The skiiers aren’t out there trying to convince the beach bums that they have to choose a downhill slalom, and the sunbathers couldn’t care less that the hikers would rather rock climb. Each does what makes them happy.

Why is sexuality so different? And why does it MATTER? Why does it strike fear in some of those who live a ‘straight’ life? If you can shed some light on that for me, please do so. Help me understand. Because for now, I’m not seeing it.

Now please excuse me. I’m going to go sunbathe.

Proud to be in VA

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After all of the uproar over HB2, the “bathroom bill” in North Carolina, it’s rewarding to see Virginia doing the right thing. Allow me to explain.

The 4th Circuit Court in Virginia just ruled that a Gloucester County transgender high school student should be allowed to use the boy’s restroom in his public high school. The 2-1 decision overturned last year’s ruling that stated Gavin Grimm, a junior, had to use the girl’s restroom because he was born female.

Grimm identifies as a male, and for a few short months in 2014, was allowed to use the boy’s bathroom … right up until people complained and the case promptly went to court. (Anyone else tired of an overly litigious society?)

But now the ruling means he can walk into the boy’s room again to do his business. There’s rumors this might have an impact on NC’s recent law (please, yes) that says people have to use the restroom that corresponds to the gender on their birth certificate, which is simply ludicrous to me. Anything that serves to overturn HB2 is a huge step in the right direction.

For those who are upset: Guys, the kid just wants to go to the bathroom, for crying out loud! He’s not preying on anyone. Leave him in peace and find something else to sue over. Like the number of napkins McDonald’s hands out.

Standing Up, Standing Out

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Like many of us, I’ve been watching the reaction to HB2, the bathroom law in North Carolina that dictates people have to use the bathroom that corresponds to the genderbathroom on their birth certificate. I can’t wrap my head around why — not just trying to understand the reasoning (if someone is intent on hurting another person, is a bathroom door really an effective deterrent?), but also the timing. Why NOW, when it seemed we’d made some strides toward acceptance??

So when artists started cancelling shows in NC out of protest, I was cheering. My immediate reaction was, YES! Boycott the hell out of the state and make them face their own stupidity, looking squarely at themselves in a gender-neutral bathroom mirror. Ringo Starr? Canceled. Circque du Soleil? Same thing. The reactions to these announcements are interesting, to say the least.  When Bruce Springsteen announced he’d cancelled his show to protest HB2, The NY Post called it “his silly stand for bathroom rights.” Silly? Why silly? He’s raising his voice in opposition. Since when is that silly? It’s one of the strongest rights we have in this country – to express ourselves freely. His outrage – and his means of showing it – are anything but silly to many, many people.

But then I read about Mumford and Sons, who are going on as planned. At first blush, you might think that means the band doesn’t give a … hoot. (It’s a bathroom post – you knew I had to go there.) But thankfully, the truth is just the opposite. The band is creating a charitable fund and donating the money raised in ticket sales for their North Carolina performance to support a local LGBTQ organization. Taking something heartwrenching and turning it into something beneficial… now that, I can get behind.

I love this quote from Bill Boulding, dean of Duke University‘s Fuqua School of Business regarding this whole debacle:

“Discrimination in any form should never be tolerated. It’s simply unacceptable. There is no justification. And it’s up to all of us to speak out when injustice rises.”

So speak out, in whatever way you feel makes your point the strongest. Whether it’s protesting by boycotting, by donating or by simply expressing your opinion, make yourself heard. And here’s the cool thing: it’s not silly. Standing up for yourself – or someone else – is never “silly.” It’s right.

I’m Coming Out

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Don’t let the title fool you – I’m as straight as it gets. However, I’m ready to reveal something that I’ve held inside for a long time… I’m working on a new book.

This one is very different from the one I published in 2008 (which was Word of Mouth Advertising, Online and Off. Interested in reading it? Here’s the link to purchase!). That was my first foray into publishing and it was a great experience.

But I’m writing a very different one this time: this book is all about love. It’s an incredible love story unlike anything you’ve ever heard, trust me. And it’s TRUE.


It’s a remarkable story about love triumphing against some pretty incredible odds. As our society comes to accept love in all forms, I have reveled in marriage equality in all 50 states, watched as Caitlyn Jenner’s story unfolds and shuddered at North Carolina’s bathroom law. All of this has touched me personally – not because I’ve had any personal experience with it, but because this story I want to tell has a bit of all of that and more.

Moving forward, this blog will focus more on these types of topics. I know that makes some people uncomfortable, but it’s my hope that we can share and discuss these issues respectfully; acknowledging that we all deserve the right to live the life that feels right to us – whatever that might look like.

I hope you’ll continue this journey with me, and that you’ll allow me to share my feelings, insight, and stories with you as this book comes to fruition. After all, a book needs more than a story. It needs a reader too.