Monthly Archives: July 2016

Do Women Belong in Prison With Men?

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I’ve never been behind bars, but I gotta figure it sucks. And if being in jail weren’t bad enough, this woman is fighting for more than her freedom. The 29-year-old trans woman is battling for her rights to be jailed with other women.

Athena Cadence has been on a hunger strike since June 1 (more than 55 days now), hell-bent on convincing prison officials to house her in the women’s cell block.

Athena was convicted on three counts of  misdemeanor assault. She is one of three trans women currently being held in men’s housing. The three of them are in a pod together in the men’s section, which is in strict violation of a policy announced within the last year.

Last September, the former sheriff of the San Francisco County jail announced that transgender women would be housed with other women rather than alone. It was a step toward integration…but it hasn’t happened yet. Athena is demanding that be implemented by refusing to eat. (She’s been on a self-imposed liquids-only diet since June 1.)

She’s got plenty of public supporters and a hashtag: #LetWomenIntoWomensHousing. She just doesn’t have the support of the prison system despite starving herself. Because, hey, what’s food?

Here’s my point: it’s pretty well known that prison is a less-than pleasant place. One might even call it violent. (Insert sarcasm here.) It’s also well known that people in the trans community face more violence than the average joe. So why is this so hard to figure out?

Women don’t belong in the men’s section of a prison. Period. If Athena was female at birth, she’d be housed with women, no questions asked.

When I started researching this story, I saw that Athena was supposed to have a court date yesterday (July 25). I can’t find any information on what happened in court, but I’ll update this blog when I do. In the meantime, I hope prison officials in San Francisco and elsewhere reconsider how to handle their trans population.

The trans community suffers enough as it is. Treatment like this is simply more unnecessary, and possibly deadly, discrimination.

(photo from SF Examiner)

 

Today’s Version of the Scarlet Letter

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Did you hear the one about the transgender high school boy who was told to wear a green wristband at school so everyone knows he’s trans?

Sadly, it’s not a joke.

16-year-old Ash Whitaker is suing the Kenosha Unified School District for planning to make him and other trans students wear a bright green bracelet, identifying them as transgender students.

The Wisconsin school district had proposed this was a way to alert teachers to stop Ash from entering the boys bathroom, since he was born female. Hello? Did we learn nothing from North Carolina? Or Virginia?

In my time learning about the trans community, one thing has been made pretty clear: trans people don’t want to stand out… they want to blend in! They don’t want the spotlight. They’re not in your face about their identity. They simply want to be who they feel they were born to be, usually as quietly as possible.

Forcing them to wear a green wristband is about as subtle as a Scarlet A.

In Ash’s case, fellow students know he is trans. In fact, he was nominated for prom king – a nomination that school officials blocked until protests forced them to change their mind. Officials still refer to him with female pronouns and use his female name, despite his requests that they do otherwise.

Other trans students may not be as open, and these green wristbands “out” them.

The lawsuit Ash filed states that school officials must treat him, and all trans students, as their preferred identities and stop any discrimination against transgender students.

I have middle-school aged kids and for years have watched their schools make huge proclamations about bullying: how it won’t be tolerated, how everyone should be treated equally and with respect.

How is forcing these students to wear wristbands not a form of bullying? You’re not treating them equally. You’re not respecting them. You’re singling them out, and making them bigger targets for those who are just looking for someone to pick on.

Shame on you, Kenosha Unified School District. I hope Ash wins his lawsuit. And I hope someday, you’ll get a good, old-fashioned lesson in acceptance. You sure need one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who’s In, Who’s Out?

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In my continuing quest to learn more about the LGBT community, I’m often surprised at what I find out. (‘Cause let’s face it, you don’t know what you don’t know. Surprises are to be expected.)

For instance, I recently learned about the … hesitance … resistance … of those who are L or G or B to include the T in this group. There are apparently many who don’t feel that trans folks belong in the LGBT community.

Wow. Okay. I didn’t see that coming.

Their argument is that those who are transgendered don’t really fit within a group that’s really more about sexual preferences than genders.

One one hand, I guess I can see that. On the other hand … how and when did the “T” get added to this collection of acronyms anyway?

I don’t live within this group – I am just trying to understand more about it, and perhaps to educate others if they’re interested in what I’m learning. With that said, I gotta say it never crossed my mind that transsexuals don’t belong in the LGBT world. Maybe I got used to seeing these letters together and just assumed they fit. But I think it was more that I figured each person who identifies differently was kind of in the same boat. Misunderstood, mistreated, and misjudged. Marginalized by a culture that likes things neat and tidy, with too little room for those who don’t “fit the norm.” I guess I thought there’d be solidarity for those who feel on the outs with society.

I was wrong.

Or maybe those who want to keep trans folk out are the ones who’re off base?

I’m not calling anyone out here, I promise. I’m also not trying to start a debate. I am genuinely curious to hear from people on both sides of this argument, so I can better understand the thinking. I have no dog in this fight, as they say. (And who is “they,” anyway? I’ll save that for another blog post.)

What do you think … does “T” belong in “LGBT” or no?

Who Transitioned With You?

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When someone transitions, they’ve no doubt put a whole lotta thought and heart into the decision. It’s a commitment that will affect the rest of their lives.

While they’re the ones who undergo the physical changes to alter their gender, they’re not the only ones affected. Family and friends are impacted, regardless of whether they agree with the choice.

I read a great article about this today and I thought I’d share it here. It discusses the story of Dade Barlow and Tiffany Grimes who were married as a same-sex couple before Barlow,  born female, transitioned to become a male. It’s a fascinating tale of watershed realizations and true love.

One of Barlow’s quotes struck me:

If you don’t recognize that your partner is having a process as well, your relationship is not going to work. It’s affecting both of you, so you need to pause and give breathing room.

It’s so true. While Barlow’s wife didn’t transition, she did ‘have a process,’ as he stated. Grimes said she actually “grieved” the loss of her wife before she could accept her new husband. She had to come to understand this was not a choice … it was who he was meant to be, and she needed to come to terms with that before she could move forward by his side.

The couple remained married and now has a child together.

For every story like this (and there likely aren’t many), there are hundreds more in which the partner couldn’t accept the decision and the couple split up. And then there are parents who can’t – or won’t – accept a child’s decision to transition. In these cases, the loved ones’ lives are altered in different ways, but impacted nonetheless.

For anyone who’s transitioned, I’d love to hear about how those around you “had a process,” whether it is a parent, spouse, or friend. Please feel free to share your story by commenting below or privately messaging me, if you prefer.

And for those who’ve gone through a loved one’s transition by their side, bravo for supporting them. Whether you agree or even understand, you embody the words “unconditional love.” And these days, that’s no small feat.