Tag Archives: #gay

Doing More as an LGBT Ally

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image.pngI’m an ally. You probably knew that by now (at least, I hope this blog has made that clear). Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m doing enough, and wonder how I can be more effective in supporting those who live under the rainbow.

I found the infographic below on FaceBook, and I wanted to share with you all here in case it helps you too.

Never underestimate the power of being an ally. The LGBTQ+ community needs us now more than ever.

#proudally #ivegotyourback #transinclusion

(Image courtesy of the Transgender Training Institute.)

Effective Trans Ally.jpg

Cville #Pride — My New Happy Place

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I didn’t wanna go. I really, really didn’t want to go.

It was Saturday morning. We were expecting yucky weather all day thanks to Hurricane Florence, and I was thinking about how horrible it would be to stand outside in a tent in the rain trying to tell people why they should buy my book — all while attempting to keep said book safe and dry. Let’s face it: no one likes a soggy read.

So I debated skipping the whole thing. I’d already paid for the table, so that was water under the bridge at that point. (Pardon the hurricane-based humor, folks.) I couldn’t imagine that the weather would encourage people to attend, so not only would I be miserable, but how well could I really expect do in sales given the forecast?

But if I *didn’t* go, I was guaranteed not to sell anything.

It took just about everything in me to drag my lazy rear end to the car and make the 20-minute drive to Charlottesville. I kept telling myself, “I’ll just set up the table and stay for a little while. That gives me a chance to see how the turnout is. If it’s a ghost town, I’ll let myself leave early.” It gave me something to hold onto besides an umbrella.

I am so, so glad I went. Not only did it not rain, but it turned out to be my most successful event EVER. Crowds were there in droves despite the forecast. And I SOLD OUT OF BOOKS. I even sold more after I sold out, with people being willing to pay on the spot and let me ship them their book on Monday.

This was the one-year anniversary of launching my book, Who Am I If You’re Not You? Cville Pride was the first event where I sold books and I’ve spent the past 12 months marketing it near and far. A year of ongoing effort, care, thought, and persistence.

On Saturday, it all came home to roost. One attendee bought a copy last year and told me how glad she was to see that I’m still out there spreading the message. Several told me they’d heard about the book through this AMAZING video courtesy of HeartThreads. (If you haven’t seen it yet, it’s five minutes that will reaffirm your belief in love. I promise.) Some had seen the book in Barnes & Noble. Some had heard about it when I spoke on-air with WINA. Knowing that the marketing is working — that people are hearing about this book — made all the work worth it.

At Pride last year, I knew a couple of people but the vast majority were strangers to me. This year I saw so many friends I’ve had the fortune to meet over the past 12 months. And I met all kinds of new friends, people who represent every part of the community. Gay. Straight. Trans. Bi. Nonbinary. Asexual. Teens. Adults. Kids. Grandparents. It was a snapshot of life that day, and every encounter was about love, acceptance, and inclusion.

I couldn’t have been happier — not just because I sold so many books, but because it affirmed exactly why I wanted to write this story in the first place. The book is about love, and so is Cville Pride. Hats off to the organizers. I’m already looking forward to next year.

Charlottesville has more pride than hurricanes. And love? Never doubt it: we’ve got that in spades.

The Alphabet is Changing

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First of all, HAPPY PRIDE!!!!

Secondly, I want to talk about letters. (I know, I’m a writer. I always want to talk about letters! But this is different.) I didn’t know until I started this blog how many in the LGBT community think the “T” has no place in this group because “T” has to do with gender, not sexuality. I was truly stymied, and I blogged about it at the time.

This week, I saw a comment from someone saying the “B” in LGBT might also need to be rethought. Why? Because some people see more than two genders.

In today’s world, we’re learning so much about how people view themselves, and the spectrum is vast, friends. No longer do we recognize just “male” and “female,” so an argument could be made that “bisexual” doesn’t cover it all.

Interesting.

I wish we didn’t have to have the labels. I wish it didn’t matter, and that the world didn’t feel the need to categorize people based on anything — from race to religion to gender to sexual preference. But as long as that’s the case (and I suspect that’s not changing any time soon), I’m curious to see whether “LGBT” morphs into a different set of acronyms. I wonder what the “B” should become. “P” for pansexual? Maybe “A” for all?

Whatever happens with this, I’m supportive. I hope it’s clear I’m an ally all the way. Just keep me up to speed so I don’t show my ignorance! I’m trying hard to keep up my image 🙂

I don’t have a dog in this fight, I just find it worth discussing. I can definitely see how it makes sense.

What do you think?

 

The Church Home I Wasn’t Looking For

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As you probably know if you follow this blog with any regularity, I recently published aMMC nonfiction book titled, Who Am I If You’re Not You?  (What? You want to know more about it? Glad you asked. Here’s the website, and here’s an earlier blog post.) The book has been a great way to meet people, including at PrideFest in Richmond, VA, back in September. Two women each bought a copy of my book and said they’d like to introduce me to their pastor, each swearing he’d love it.

I smiled, thanked them, and thought, “Sure, he will.”

See, I grew up going to church. Voluntarily. My family wasn’t active in any church, but my best friend’s was, and since we were damn near inseparable, I went with her. It was a Southern Baptist church and I attended it for years–active in the choir, president of the youth group. I was immersed. And that was my framework of church for a long time.

It was a nice church, with nice people. When I got older, I attended various other churches for short periods of time, never really finding one that I felt was quite right for me. And after awhile I stopped looking. I came to the conclusion that the Bible, and all it stood for, didn’t necessarily contain everything I believed. My beliefs became more spiritual and less religion-based.

But there as another reason I stopped attending. I didn’t care for churches where there was so much ceremony – now it’s time to kneel, now it’s time to stand, now it’s time to find this hymn or that passage. I was self-conscious, afraid of making a mistake and looking foolish.

Now, back to the present. These two women I met through a book sale did, in fact, introduce me to their pastor and we arranged for me to attend two Wednesday night gatherings. From the moment I walked up to the front door that first Wednesday night, I knew this was no ordinary church. There was a homeless man sitting outside. And as I walked inside, there was another homeless man at the coffee pot, happily prattling away to himself. No one was shooing them away, or casting sideways glances. These two men were welcome here.

No less than three people came to greet me and offer hugs. These were strangers to me, but they acted like we were old friends. And I felt like we were! I experienced many surprising things that evening, like the pastor inviting everyone up for the prayer circle before we began — and inviting the homeless to join us in the circle! — and the most open, honest and candid conversation about LGBT issues I’ve ever had. We talked about it IN CHURCH. I was astonished (in a very, very good way).

See, church to me was where you put on your nice clothes and acted proper, said the right things and sang nice songs. God forbid you talked about homosexuality, sex, gender transition, or anything of the sort.

This church was a totally different story. People of all walks were welcome here, and FREE TO BE WHO THEY ARE. It was the most liberating, refreshing experience I’ve had in a very long time. Honestly, I marveled during the whole event, thinking, “This is what church is SUPPOSED to be. This is what Jesus must’ve had in mind.” It felt like home — the kind of home when you can be among family and friends and feel comfortable to burp if you need to (not that I heard anyone do so – but I bet if they’d needed to, they’d have felt like they could without judgement.) The kind of place where you could wear your jeans with holes (does that make them holy?) and no one would look askance. A place where you could just BE … and be accepted for it.

And that’s what church should be, right? A “sanctuary” without judgement? Where you can gather without fear of saying the wrong thing, or worry about what others think? Where the homeless are welcomed inside the walls AND the prayer circle?

In case you’re wondering, the church was the Metropolitan Community Church in Richmond, Virginia. If you’re near the area, I highly recommend you check it out. Truly, you’ll feel welcome. Tell Pastor Kenny – one of the nicest people I’ve ever met – I sent ya. And then let me know if you have the same reaction.

What’s your church experience like? Do you have a place like MMC? I’d love to hear your story!

And in case you’re interested, their website has some really interesting reading about homosexuality and the church. Here’s the link if you wanna see for yourself.

 

 

Gold before the Olympics begin

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Feathered Quill logoThere is no way to say this without sounding like I’m bragging, so I’m just gonna say it:

I won a gold medal!

Well, okay, *I* didn’t win a gold medal, but the book I wrote did. That may be splitting hairs. I’m gonna go ahead and claim it!

I found out that “Who Am I If You’re Not You?” won first place for memoirs in the 2018 Feathered Quill Book Awards! I couldn’t be more proud, and not just because I can now call it an award-winning book, but because it’s resonating with readers. Here’s what the Feathered Quill judges had to say:

“This is a well-written memoir on a topic that people don’t see much of on the library/store/online book shelves. A must-read and valuable addition to LGBTQ collections. This book scored a perfect 100 from the cover to the content. Excellent job!”

That line – “a valuable addition to LGBTQ collections” – probably means the most to me. To feel that this story can make a difference for someone, that it merits space on their shelves, speaks volumes. It reinforces the belief I felt from the get-go: that this true story of one couple’s journey to love beyond gender was both unique and unusual. The more I researched, the more I realized just how special this real-life couple is, and I couldn’t wait to share their story with the world.

If you haven’t checked it out yet, it’s available on the book’s website and at Amazon. And as of this month, it’s also at the Barnes & Noble store in Charlottesville, Virginia, where I’ll be doing a book signing this Saturday, 2/10, from noon until 2pm. If you’re in the area, please come by and celebrate with me!

LynnThorne-Cover-fqawardAnd this is a perfect chance for me to thank the uber-talented Liz Weaver of Paprika Creative for her fantastic cover. She’s the bomb! I mean, just LOOK at this cover she designed. Seriously, look at it, and then go to her site and see what other outstanding design work she’s done.

Thank you, Liz!

 

This is me.

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I’m not a stranger to the dark

Hide away, they say

’cause we don’t want your broken parts.

I’ve learned to be ashamed of all my scars

Run away, they say

no one’ll love you as you are.

But I won’t let them break me down to dust

I know that there’s a place for us

for we are glorious.

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down

I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out.

I am brave, I am bruised,

I am who I’m meant to be.

This is me.

Look out ’cause here I come

And I’m marching on to the beat I drum.

I’m not scared to be seen.

I make no apologies.

This is me.

Another round of bullets hits my skin

Well, fire away ’cause today

I won’t let the shame sink in.

We are bursting through the barricades

And reaching for the sun.

transloveWe are warriors.

That’s what we’ve become.

Won’t let them break me down to dust.

I know that there’s a place for us.

For we are glorious.

 

When the sharpest words wanna break me down

I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out.

This

is

me.

From The Greatest Showman. Lyrics by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul

 

Words have power. Banned words have consequences.

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bannedI have tried for the past 24 hours — and failed — to put my swirling thoughts into words for a blog post. I’m trying again now because my mind can’t rest until I get this out there.

It’s the 21st century. What kind of country are we living in where top public health experts can be banned from using words in official documents?

More specifically, what kind of country are we living in where words that define HUMAN BEINGS can be banned?

Beginning with “fetus,” the very definition of life. This new list of banned words would have us do away with this term as though it were dirty or dangerous. If anyone cared, they’d realize it was science-based. Oh, wait…

And moving on to include “diversity,” “vulnerable,” and the one that hit me hardest: “transgender.”

So we should no longer use the word “transgender.” We should pretend as though it doesn’t exist. As though it has no worth, value, or meaning.

It was bad enough when government websites removed information relating to the LGBT community when someone (I’m banning his name) took office. Now the very term is banned?

What does this mean? Are those who are trans suddenly invisible? You ban the word and, POOF!, they cease to exist?

Reading the list of banned words for the first time, I started off appalled, then shocked. Today, I am beyond outraged. My emotions regarding this “list” are all over the place. I’m sickened, saddened, and heartbroken that in the greatest country in the world — supposedly based on the principle of free speech — we have a list of words that are verboten. That the list includes words that describe very real, very human, people I know and care about is beyond my comprehension.

The vice president of Planned Parenthood called the list “reckless” and “unimaginably dangerous.”

You must be able to acknowledge the humanity of transgender people in order to address their health care needs. You cannot erase health inequities of people of color simply by forbidding the use of the words “vulnerable” or “diversity.” — Dana Singiser

I’m still sorting this all out (as you can tell), but in the meantime, I want to leave you with something I read on Facebook that was beautifully written. I don’t know the author, Elena Sands, but I hope she won’t mind me including it here. It was so apt.

The evidence- and science-based facts are that you are wrong. Free speech is our entitlement and diversity is our strength. You will not oppress my transgender family without consequences. You are so desperate to save a fetus against a woman’s wishes, yet fail miserably to help needy children once they’re born. The only vulnerable thing here is your propaganda. You cannot silence us.

We are worthy. Every one of us. Our diversity makes us stronger, and that includes the transgender community, those who are LGBT, and those who are marginalized in any way.

We are all vulnerable right now. God help us.

#iAMPROUD of you!

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Today’s guest post comes from Charlotte Summers, who is behind a global movement to be proud of gender and sexuality. While writing blog posts for thatswhatlynnsaid, more than once I’ve been disheartened by the treatment of the LGBTQ+ community. From bullying to suicide, homelessness to violence, and helplessness to hopelessness, I have wished I could do more than just shed some light on the pain this group endures.

Screen Shot 2017-12-04 at 3.58.52 PMThen I heard about Charlotte’s efforts with #iAMPROUD, and I asked her to let me share this project with you in hopes of giving it more visibility and giving a stronger voice to those who identify as LGBT.

You can learn more about #iAMPROUD through Charlotte’s words below. And in case I haven’t told you lately, #iAMPROUD to be an ally!

______________________________________________________________________

Understanding your sexuality or gender is a long and scary journey.

How will my family perceive me?  Will all of my friends turn against me? What will everyone say about me?

Many valid questions whizz around your head & it all gets too much. When you finally come out, you could get mixed reactions. You see, some get it easy, others don’t. But that’s part of life.

Many of us for years are ashamed of our sexuality/gender as the stigma attached is too much to handle. But this needs to stop, we need to be proud of who we are. No matter sexuality, gender, race, religion and so on. We should all stand proud.

We want to showcase how amazing LGBTQ+ individuals are & we are going to share the worldwide.

The #iAMPROUD project highlights how amazing we all are. From discrimination, hate crimes and daily judgement we still stand proud as ever.

For the younger generations and those struggling with their gender,  they will see us unashamed and owning our sexuality/gender.

And this is what they need. With increasing percentages of young children being bullied at school for their sexuality, they need us to stand up for them and say ‘ We are LGBTQ+ and proud.’

To help us achieve this, there are two ways you can join the movement. 

1. Take a picture of yourself with the hashtag ‘iAMPROUD’ with your sexuality, gender or identity.

Then follow the simple rules below:

  1. Tag us on Instagram at @iamproudd
  2. Use the hashtag #iAMPROUD

(For example: ‘Bisexual & Proud’ with #iAMPROUD below)

That’s it! You will be featured on our gallery as well as on Instagram!

2. Email us your coming out story.  Share your story to the world & show us all how proud you are to identify within the LGBTQ+ community. Our email is Uniteuk1@gmail.com

I hope you join us on our journey in being proud of who we are.

Learn more at https://prouduk.wordpress.com/2017/11/28/get-involved/

 

OrionWisdom and me

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I’m so excited! As my book, Who Am I If You’re Not You? draws closer to launch, there’s all kinds of exciting things happening. Some of it has been planned for awhile, like my upcoming booksigning events at AFK Books in Virginia Beach, VA and at The Abbey in West Hollywood, CA. I’ve also been planning the Nov. 14 launch party at Over The Moon Books and Artisan Gallery in Crozet, VA for a couple of months.

But today I got a wonderful surprise when my book was reviewed/featured in this wonderful newsletter, OrionWisdom. Check it out and subscribe, if you’ve a mind to. Elisabeth Fitzhugh pens this digital newsletter full of thoughts to help you consider your personal spiritual perspective. I was delighted to be included in this month’s issue, and I continue to be humbled by those who believe in and support this book right alongside me. Thanks Elisabeth!

As I gear up for the launch, I’m looking for other ways to publicize this book. Who do you know who might be able to help its message reach those who need to hear it? Can you help me spread the word by sending out an email, or putting something on social media for me? Or maybe you’d consider sharing this blog with someone who’d be interested. I strongly believe someone, somewhere out there, needs to read this book and I want to make sure I’ve done everything I can to get it to them–but I also know I can’t do it alone. Thanks for helping me give this book wings to fly.

Here’s to our journey together. Cheers!

“I’m Pregnant … and I’m a Stud”

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That headline’s not mine but it sure caught my attention, so I stole borrowed it. It belongs to FreedomTwoLove, a blog written by my friend, Rena Ingram, who founded that organization.

I try to bring fresh perspectives to this blog of mine that’s focused on learning about the LGBTQ+ community. Today, I’m excited to introduce you to Rena, an LGBT activist, blogger, motivational speaker, and all around great person to know! Read on to learn more about her and her wonderful organization that’s going to great lengths to reinforce the message of #NOH8.

FreedomTwoLove, A Light for All

FreedomTwoLove originated in February 2014 when it held its first event on the campus of Fort Valley State University under the #NOH8 umbrella as it was called, “#NOH8: Addressing the Misconceptions of the LGBTQ Community.” As the founder and current CEO, at the time I was a senior at the illustrious historically black college and university (HBCU) and was a little apprehensive about holding the event because I had never seen anything of the sort provided on the campus – a mark that specifically supported the LGBTQ+ community. Although I knew I had built the leverage to hold such an event by holding various leadership roles throughout my matriculation at the university, building strong relationships with others on the campus, and holding the title as Student Government Association’s Vice President at that time, it was still nerve wrecking to attempt something that had never been done. I began to develop the mindset that if I didn’t do it, no one else would, and it was just as important then as it is now that I stood as an advocate and created a safe space for others within my community – so I did, and it became a moment that would change my life forever.

In 2015, I returned to the university as an alumnus and held yet another Noh8.png#NOH8 event which I rightfully deemed, “Part II.” The outpouring of support I received at that event pushed me to press play on my ideas and develop my own brand that branched away from the shadows of the #NOH8 movement – a decision that inspired the creation of what is now called, FreedomTwoLove. Freedom is defined as the power to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint, love is unconditionally self-explanatory, and “two” is used as a form of unique wordplay to be inclusive of both gay and lesbian love. This brand is different from every other LGBTQ-ally campaign because it strives to bridge the gap that currently alienates those of the LGBTQ community from their heterosexual peers by creating a safe and supportive space for dialogue through events and monthly blog postings for those of the community and others to generate open conversations about the negative biases and stereotypes that are present and evident in today’s society. Its overall mission is to serve as an aid in the fight against the injustices targeted on the LGBTQ+ community and encourage those within the community to build resilient confidence within themselves while simultaneously raising awareness of what’s going on within the community.

FreedomTwoLove is most popularly known for its blogs that are released on the 2nd of every month, such as, “I’m Pregnant … and I’m a Stud,” “The Fragility of Black Masculinity”, and “#ReclaimingMyTime: Don’t Let Your Story End.” By visiting www.freedomtwolove.com, you can not only keep up with the monthly blogs, but can also stay alert to what’s happening in the LGBTQ+ community with weekly news postings. In addition to being a Group Noh8blogger for the brand, I am also a motivational speaker and certainly a LGBTQ+ advocate as I make my way through various communities in effort of helping my community receive better treatment in all facets of life. One moment in particular that I’m proud of consisted of helping train an academy class of police officers for the Atlanta Police Department with a segment called, “Transgender Interaction Scenarios” along with transgender women in the community to ensure that the new police officers will be respectful in body searches, pronoun usage, etc. once they got out into the field.

Ultimately, I understand that this is one of my life’s missions and I also know that the work has just begun. As long as I have air in my body, I’ll be the voice for others that can’t, won’t, or simply don’t know how; and when it’s all said and done, I can only hope that FreedomTwoLove was a light for all.