How to be Queer 101

Today’s post is courtesy of my friend, Josh Tucker, who hosts a local weekly radio show. While my posts try to educate those, like me, who are trying to learn about the LGBT community, this one is written from Josh’s point of view. I thought it was interesting and wanted to share with my readers.

Thanks, Josh, for letting me share!

His post follows:

Every week on my radio show, I do a rant about current events or news or topics that are interesting to me. This week I wrote out an instruction guide about how non-queer identifying people can be more queer!!!

How to be queer

So you probably look at all the pretty queer folks out there, thinking, “Oh my god. They are so cool. I wanna be like them. I wish I wasn’t so boring.” Well I have got some news for you buddy… YOU CAN BE QUEER! Yes you can! I have faith in you!

You might think that we are some kinda strange endangered animal, or imaginary, like a unicorn. But we’re not. We’re everywhere! You might not see us, because like fairies, you have to believe in us and be nice to us, or we’ll never appear and fly over to talk to you. And now you might be thinking, “Hey wait… being queer is not a choice. If you’re saying that we boring folk can be queer, doesn’t that mean republicans are right about your ‘queer agenda’?” NOOOO. First of all, being a conservative republican is actually the choice to be wrong about absolutely everything (at least socially), and accepting that your ignorance is forever on the wrong side of history. And while your biology and mentality is NOT a choice, it is a choice to examine yourself and identify with the queerness your life. Chances are, you actually are very queer already, but haven’t realized it yet. So get outside of that closet ya big queermo!

If you’re still having trouble accepting your true potential, here’s just a few easy tips to get you started on the path to glorious queerdom!

1. Go by they/them or other gender variant pronouns. It’s easy. You use them all the time. If you find a gender neutral sweater, you don’t say “Someone left his or her sweater,” you say “Who left their sweater?” You only mean one person, but they/them references an identity that isn’t bound by specific universal genders. There are no rules about who is allowed to use they/them, you can even be cisgender and straight and call yourself they. But this makes you look different and cooler, and people will think you’re a bit more queer than they previously thought.

2. Realize that sexuality is not boring and limited. Remember how I said identifying as queer is kind of a choice? Well, so is not being queer. When you were born, a gender was chosen for you based on sex, and you grew up in a society where sexual identity is largely promoted as being acceptable if you desire the opposite sex. Society is really at fault. That’s what made you straight and dumb. But you don’t have to live like that! If you feel any attraction outside of your assumed sexuality, don’t run from it! Embrace it. It’s healthy for you.

3. Buck the cistem and present yourself the way you really want to. The thing about queers is that we just look androgynous and cool. But we don’t have any standards or dress codes. Some dudes wear makeup, some girls cut their hair short, some non-binary genderqueers don’t dress like a guy or a girl, and look like an androgynous angel from outer space. Just forget the rules that you’ve grown up with, and dress to express yourself. Note, expression isn’t identity, but you’ll be many steps closer towards becoming the queer self you’ve always been if you express yourself outside of your assumed gender.

4. GUESS WHAT. Nobody is normal. You aren’t normal. Queer has many definitions, but essentially it refers to a non-normative identity. Is there a certain man or woman you think is the quintessential idea of the normal person? And do you idealize them and try to be more like them? Does that make you feel more like a woman or man? It shouldn’t! Whoever you’re thinking of is just as unnormalized as everyone else. Once you understand this, you’ll see that masculine and feminine aren’t genders, they’re adjectives, and no matter how much of either you think you are, that won’t keep you from being queer.

5. Support your queer friends and queer circles. Like begets like. If you want to be queer, or a good person really, be nice to queer people. Here, queer is representative of the entire LGBTQ population. Use proper pronouns, don’t randomly ask people invasive questions about their sex lives, don’t tell anyone they’re living a sinful life. If you wouldn’t want someone to do something to you, don’t do that thing to another person just because they’re queer. That makes it a lot harder for you to be queer too, and remember, YOU WANT TO BE QUEER! You want to be cool like us. And be friends with us. If you have at least one token queer friend, all of the ideas on this list are so much easier to accomplish.

6. Stop using queer as a derogatory word against LGBTQIA folks, and start using it to describe EVERYONE. The truth is everyone wants to be queer, because everyone is queer to some extant. They mostly are ignoring the queer parts of their lives, but that’s ignorant. And not accepting it just keeps you from accepting yourself and being happy. Don’t say queer, faggot, tranny, dyke, and the rest to insult people. Actually don’t use most of those words if you don’t identify with them. But hey! As long as you don’t use it for a cheap joke or aggression at LGBTQ expense, you can use queer now! Say it all the time! Because you are queer.

7. Unbind from the binary. All of the binaries. We get taught that life is full of dualities, because it’s easier to tell children there are only things and their opposites, than to say not everything is either good or evil. Yes you may have an apple, no you may not. And that apple is green or it’s red. Life is actually full of spectrums. We live in 3 dimensional space, we can move through our universe in any direction we want. The hallmark of living the queer experience is navigating through perceptions of binaries without adopting a single specific ideal. That’s why we’re so cool and open minded. We’re not “this” or the absence of it, and we don’t expect anyone else to be that thing either. However, this is also true of the HUMAN experience. Everything is fluid for all of us, and we get to make a billion different decisions all the time that actually create our identities. So being human is akin to being queer.

I don’t speak for all queer folks out there, and I’m sure a lot of folks don’t want the rest of humanity to be exactly like us. I don’t want that either, but I do want more queer people to be proud of who they are. And being queer is not an exact science. You grow up with oppression, and you turn your experiences and identity into something beautiful and subversive. Absolutely ALL of our identities, if we are allowed to truly define them ourselves, are intrinsically transgressive. People feel safer in numbers. Yes, being an ally is great! But it’s indicative of a corrupted society that being an ally is an actual accomplishment. Being openly queer will give you a sense of pride for identifying with the antithesis of the patriarchal, cissexist, heterosexist, fearful establishment. Some of you can’t be queer, because you just don’t have what it takes… interpret that statement however it applies to you. But if you do have the stuff, the balls, guts, the mind, body, and bravery to be who you really are, DO IT!!! Just follow my tips, and you’ll get there.

One thought on “How to be Queer 101

  1. Pingback: How to be Queer 101 | thats what lynn said

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