Tag Archives: #bi

Trans people are not contagious

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Trans people do not have cooties.

I repeat: trans people do not have cooties. Call the CDC and confirm it if you like, but you cannot catch any transgender germs from hanging out with someone who identifies as trans.

As ridiculous as it feels to type that, apparently there are some people who haven’t gotten the message.

I read this article this morning and was shocked, saddened, and in a bit of disbelief over the statistic it put forth:

27% of Americans don’t want to be friends with someone who’s transgender.

One in four of us.

What the actual fuck?

I cannot understand why. I mean, I really, really can’t make sense of that.

We’re not talking about proposing marriage, sleeping together, or even living in the same household. SIMPLY BEING FRIENDS WITH A TRANS PERSON IS A BIG. FAT. “NO” for one quarter of our population. Wow.

And WHY? Or why not?  Is it fear? Misunderstanding? Disgust? Religion? Judgement? Or something else?

Would love your thoughts on this. What are your experiences? Do you have friends who are trans? If you’re trans, have you had experience that you’d share regarding people who won’t befriend you? I really want to understand this statistic and could use a little help from my friends.

And because I’m not trans, at least I can assume I have some friends…

 

Where’s “Who Am I” now?

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I’m glad you asked!Option A

My book Who Am I If You’re Not You? is now available!

It’s the true story of one woman’s experience when her spouse changes gender. I’m extremely proud of this book because it presents the partner’s viewpoint, which hasn’t been well represented before now. There are a number of books out there that document what it’s like to be trans … but very few take into account what it’s like for the other half of the couple.

You can read more about it at www.whoamithebook.com.

Readers-Choice-Awards-circle-blue-n-gold-768x582

Help me win!

And hey, while you’re at it, maybe you’d consider voting for it! It’s up for an Independent Author award at TCK Publishing. Three steps to voting:

You’re awesome for doing so!!! (Actually, you’re awesome no matter what but this would really help me!)

The book has garnered some amazing reviews. Here’s just a bit of the feedback I’ve received so far:

“Once you start reading this book, you can’t stop.”

“Impressive, vivid, powerful, uncompromisingly honest. It made me cry and it made my heart sing.”

“A non-fiction page-turner, something of an anomaly in my reading experience. A true story, with true heart, told by a true writer.”

“Lynn captures the heart of Jen’s story well. I feel thankful to have read it.”

I hope you’ll consider supporting this book with an order (or two. The holidays are coming, you know).  I truly believe in my heart of hearts this story has the potential to help someone through their dark times, and will educate others who don’t understand what it means to transition.

Come and see me at the launch party! It’ll be held November 14, 2017, at Over the Moon Bookstore & Artisan Gallery in Crozet, VA from 7-9.

 

How a School Bus Driver Made a Wrong Turn with Trans Teens

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Let’s face it: high school can be tough. I mean, pull-out-your-hair, cry-yourself-to-sleep, not-sure-survival-is-possible tough. If the pressures of growing up, getting enough sleep, worrying about your grades and your future aren’t bad enough, there’s the acne/braces/glasses/not-being-popular/forever-feeling-awkward part.

Then there’s the trans part. Then there’s part where the bus driver kicks you off the public school bus because you’re trans.

Wait, what?

Yep, you read that right.

In Glen Falls, NY, a public school bus driver kicked two male-identifying trans students off the bus after they sat with other males. The driver told them they had to sit with the girls, because that was their gender at birth. They politely refused, at which point the driver refused to give them a ride (despite other students standing up for the boys).

I don’t know these boys but I’m outraged on their behalf. And if I’d been their parent — well, let’s just not go there. Why? Why? WHY? They were doing nothing wrong. They weren’t being rowdy, insolent, disrepectful, or disruptive.

They simply wanted to sit with their male peers. And for that, they were forced off a school bus.

I hope administrators within the Glen Falls school system look long and hard at how they’re educating employees about acceptance, tolerance, and inclusion. Clearly it’s needed.

Our children – ALL children – need to know they’re safe. Adults are supposed to provide that safety. We’re supposed to understand when others don’t, and to be nurturing, welcoming, accepting, and loving. We’re expected to be role models. More precisely, we should be counted on to act like grownups.

I’m so glad the others on the bus rallied around these kids. What a lesson we can learn from them!

By the way, there are resources out there dedicated to transforming the educational environment. Cheers for TSER, which is Trans Student Educational Resources, which seeks to create a more trans-friendly education system. Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network, or GLSEN, is another important organization that works to make safe school environments for all students.

I hope Glen Falls school administrators happen across this blog, and I hope they’ll consider working closely with TSER and GLSEN and other similar organizations that can help them better understand how to accept all students.

Which leaves me with a question: Who’s schoolin’ who?

The ABCS of LGBTs (aka, how to teach kids about diversity)

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It’s back to school time, and I’ve seen a lot of FB posts about ensuring thatkids and schools remember that bullying is never okay. So true! As the target of a few bullies growing up, I can recall all too well that feeling of being less-than. I wanted nothing more than to fit in and a few mean-spirited kids made sure I knew I didn’t and never would. It hurts.

Everyone deserves the chance to just be themselves and to be accepted for who they are.

In the spirit of that, I offer you something about how to explain LGBT to kids of all ages, so that children who identify as LGBT don’t feel ostracized. Check out this link from WelcomingSchools.org. It offers kid-friendly definitions that will help a child understand what some of the myriad LGBT terms mean. It also emphasizes the need to make sure that when defining terms for children, it’s smart to use examples to help them understand the definitions.

As with any discussion you have with kids, it’s a good idea to let them lead it. Found what they’ve heard and what they *think* it means, and then clarify as needed.

And it should go without saying, but here’s a prime opportunity to make sure that a child is not using any LGBT term in a derogatory way. They may have heard it used that way; as a caring adult, it’s your job to set them straight (no pun intended!).

Let’s teach our children to be allies instead of bullies!

Hats off to Cville Pride but not a stupid hat vendor

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As if Charlottesville hasn’t had enough to deal with lately, the city’s Pride Festival is now the victim of discrimination.

The Festival organizers were working on merchandise orders, like this awesome purple shirt (in case you didn’t know it, I’m a tried and true purple fan). They also tried to order hats through a company called Legacy Athletics.

Notice I used the word “tried.”  Wanna know what they got in response to the order they placed?  This:

I am sorry for the delay, this is a design that we would not be able to produce.

While Legacy does offer custom logos, we also carefully nurture and protect our brand.  One of the ways we keep a positive connotation to the brand, is by avoiding doing any products with custom logos that might be deemed as controversial, political, offensive, etc.  This does not in any way mean that we either support or do not support the organization making the request, but the reality is that in light of recent events in Charlottesville as well as the fact Gay Pride events are political activism; we respectfully decline this order.  Again, I hope you can understand our position.

Ummm, sorry, no. I don’t understand your position. I understand you’re discriminatory.

So hats may or may not be part of Cville Pride Festival this year. You know who definitely will be? Me. I’ll be there with my book, and I’ll be prouder than ever to let my Ally flag fly.

I hope I’ll see you there, with or without a hat on.

I’d rather write than be pregnant

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Birthing a book is like having a baby in a lot of ways. You carry it around inside of you for a reallllly long time, worrying about it, thinking about it, growing it. You agonize over what to name it. You think about what it will look like, and how amazing it will feel to hold it for the first time.

There are also other similarities. You can’t wait to share the news with others, excitedly talking about every aspect from the story to the cover to the promotion. Don’t forget about the labor pains, which involve waiting and waiting and waiting for it to be edited. For it to be laid out. For it to be printed. And when it’s finally “born,” it’s magical.

Thankfully, the waiting on this little project of mind is nearly over! I’d hoped to be able to launch Who Am I If You’re Not You? in October, but, like having a baby, sometimes it takes a little longer to be born.

I can share with you now that my book will launch on November 14!

That birthday is significant. It has nothing to do with being a Scorpio, and everything to do with it marking the beginning of Transgender Awareness Week. (Hint, if you didn’t already know what this story is about, it deals with trans issues.)

Want to know more? The book’s website is www.whoamithebook.com, and you can check out the prologue. I also feature it on my website, www.lynnthorne.com. Stay tuned to this blog to find out where you can get more sneak peeks at content in the coming months. I can’t wait to share it with you!

Even though the official launch isn’t until November, I will have copies in hand by Labor Day, which I’ll have available at CVILLE Pride Festival on September 16 in Charlottesville, Virginia, and at VAPrideFest in Richmond, Va on Sept. 23. If you’re in the area for either of those events, please stop by my booth and say hi!

You’ll also be able to order it from me directly after Labor Day. It won’t be available on Amazon or in bookstores until the launch, but I’ll be happy to fulfill any orders as soon as I have copies in my hand! Shoot me an email at Lynn@lynnthorne.com and I’ll gladly get you hooked up.

By the way, in case you were wondering, there is one VERY big difference between birthing a book and birthing a baby: when this baby is born, I won’t have to change a single diaper. Sorry, Pampers … your time has come and gone. (Insert “crappy” joke here.)

 

 

When “just” is a four-letter word

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I recently read something from someone who, like me, said she is “just” an ally. When I saw those exact words — “just” an ally — it really hit me. I felt the same way. I belittled my position because I don’t exist within the LGBT community. I downplayed my significance to those who are living their life as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.

When I saw her post and particularly that one word … “just”… I was struck by a couple of thoughts.

One, why do we think we’re lesser because we “only” support the LGBT community?

It’s true, we don’t live the daily struggles of someone who is LGBT. We haven’t experienced the discrimination they face, the fear they live with, and the harrassment for just being themselves. And thank God for that. What a tremendous injustice those behaviors are!

But just because I haven’t lived it doesn’t mean I don’t understand. I’m sympathetic. I see the injustice and the pain it causes, and it hurts my heart. No, I don’t live it but I sure do *feel* it.

My second thought when I saw that word, “just,” was indignation. (Even though I’d also thought it. Welcome to my schizophrenic mind.) We, as allies, can be a force to be reckoned with. We *don’t* experience those struggles, that discrimination, or fear … and yet we stand up against it. We rally around those in this community because we care. We see how our friends and loved ones are treated and we recognize how wrong it is.

Better yet, we can do something about it.

We can work to change the discussion. We can work to educate those who don’t (or won’t) understand. Our words and our actions are weapons to be used to defend those who are LGBT. We can defend through personal conversations, at PRIDE events, and at the polls. We can volunteer. We can be a sounding board or a shoulder to cry on.

Allies have the capacity to change perceptions, to change behaviors, and to change minds. That’s pretty powerful stuff. That’s nothing to sniff at. Forget “just” being an ally.

So the next time you think about being an ally, be proud. I am. And now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to change the world.

Right after I finish my coffee.

P.S. If you’d like to read more about how to be an ally, please visit my website at www.lynnthorne.com and click on “Giveways.” I’ll send you tips on being a better ally!

 

 

Who Am I If You’re Not You?… aka, What’s Next?

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My book project is in full swing! I am thrilled with the pre-order campaign, in which 323 very kind people ordered a copy of my book before it’s even completed! Talk about humbling. The fact that friends, family and business sponsors were willing to shell out money for something on faith that I will make this book a reality  – well, let’s just say I’m honored. And tiny bit terrified.

Writing this book has been on my mind for 4-5 years, give or take, ever since I met Jennifer and Marc and heard their amazing story. I knew someone else out there would benefit from hearing it, and I hope that it will help open some peoples’ minds. I don’t expect to change anyone’s mind, but I believe that maybe someone who isn’t altogether supportive of the LGBT+ community might learn something that softens their heart. That’s my goal with this story. (If you’re not familiar with it, check out this blog post where I explain the book. And if you’re curious, this blog post tells you who I’m hoping to get to write the foreword!)

And here we are … about to make it come to life. The book is about half written. This weekend, I’m leaving to go squirrel away in a quiet cottage for several days to finish writing it. I’m in talks with a few publishers who’ve expressed interest in working with me to print and distribute it. I have two stores who’ve committed to stocking it when it’s printed, and hopefully whichever publisher I choose will convince others to put it on their shelves.

There’re a couple of ways to look at this project now: with excitement – that people believe in me and this book; and with fear – that I won’t be able to deliver a product worth their confidence in me. I’m going with first point of view, at least most of the time. Now and again, doubt creeps in and I’m overcome with butterflies, wondering whether I can really make it happen.

When that self-doubt creeps in, I think about Jennifer and Marc – the couple at the heart of my book – who struggled against so many obstacles and kept their marriage intact. They lived this story. I only have to write it. I’m gonna be okay.

And this book is gonna kick ass.

 

Who’s got their back?

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I attended a gathering last night that really spoke to my heart. Could be because I’m a mom (or maybe because I’m human) but the folks at Side by Side Virginia made a big impact on me.

Side by Side Virginia is an LGBTQ+ support group for youth that includes counseling services and support, but is also just a place where kids can come and be themselves with no fear of judgement or recrimination. I don’t have the quote in front of me, but they shared a comment from one of their members that said something along the lines of, “Side by Side is where I can come to be restored, and to just be myself.”

Wow.  Imagine feeling like you had to hide who you are nearly all the time. How draining that would be!  Now imagine feeling like that as a KID.

Side by Side started a trans support group in 2011, and now trans youth make up more than half of their members. The group has had a middle school program for trans youth aged 11-14 in Richmond since 2013, and hopes to start one in  Charlottesville this summer. I find that wonderful! The more support we can offer to children facing the challenges of transitioning, the better. And I have to believe that the younger that support starts, the easier (hopefully) the transition will be.

This program is headquartered in Richmond and has a Charlottesville branch, and I believe is connected to a couple of other locations within the Commonwealth. They not only support the youth, but they help train organizations on how to best assist these kids and how to help others support them. The Boy Scouts of America called them after last week’s announcement, and wanted their opinion on how they could help LGBT scouts!

Thanks for opening my eyes to a great way to assist the LGBT community, Side by Side — and thanks for all you’re doing on their behalf!  You have a fan in me.

If you know of any young LGBTQ+ folks who need a hand, their Youth Support Line is 888-644-4390. 

#writeourforewordellen

My Valentine’s Wish = #WriteOurForewordEllen

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Please forgive me for being self-indulgent for a moment, but I have to share my greatest wish for Valentines Day. It’s not a giant diamond or a box of milk chocolates that is bigger than my dog. It’s not a dozen roses or a dinner out.

It’s Ellen DeGeneres.

Not Ellen herself, mind you. She’s taken, and I’m straight.

No, my wish this Valentine’s Day is that Ellen would consider writing the foreword to my book, Who Am I If You’re Not You? (You can read more about it at www.WhoAmITheBook.com, my brand-spankin’-newly created website)

Ellen is the perfect choice the write the foreword for this particular book. Not only because it deals with LGBT issues, but because Marc and Jennifer, the real-life couple at the center of this true story, have their own personal tie to Ellen. When they were undergoing IUI to have a baby, one of the rooms had a framed magazine cover with Ellen on it. They literally looked at Ellen’s face while trying to have a baby! (Which they did, btw – a gorgeous, now two-year-old, boy!)

So I tweeted, FBed and Instagramed her today, all using the hashtag #WriteOurForewordEllen.  And if you’re reading this and are on social media at all – FaceBook, Twitter, or Instagram – and would use the same hashtag, maybe someone from her staff will see it and tell her about it!

I know it’s a long shot, but so is winning the lottery. And since I haven’t ever won that, I figure maybe life’ll make this other wish come true.

So whaddya say, Ms. DeGeneres? Will you please be my Valentine and #WriteOurForewordEllen ?