Cville #Pride — My New Happy Place

I didn’t wanna go. I really, really didn’t want to go.

It was Saturday morning. We were expecting yucky weather all day thanks to Hurricane Florence, and I was thinking about how horrible it would be to stand outside in a tent in the rain trying to tell people why they should buy my book — all while attempting to keep said book safe and dry. Let’s face it: no one likes a soggy read.

So I debated skipping the whole thing. I’d already paid for the table, so that was water under the bridge at that point. (Pardon the hurricane-based humor, folks.) I couldn’t imagine that the weather would encourage people to attend, so not only would I be miserable, but how well could I really expect do in sales given the forecast?

But if I *didn’t* go, I was guaranteed not to sell anything.

It took just about everything in me to drag my lazy rear end to the car and make the 20-minute drive to Charlottesville. I kept telling myself, “I’ll just set up the table and stay for a little while. That gives me a chance to see how the turnout is. If it’s a ghost town, I’ll let myself leave early.” It gave me something to hold onto besides an umbrella.

I am so, so glad I went. Not only did it not rain, but it turned out to be my most successful event EVER. Crowds were there in droves despite the forecast. And I SOLD OUT OF BOOKS. I even sold more after I sold out, with people being willing to pay on the spot and let me ship them their book on Monday.

This was the one-year anniversary of launching my book, Who Am I If You’re Not You? Cville Pride was the first event where I sold books and I’ve spent the past 12 months marketing it near and far. A year of ongoing effort, care, thought, and persistence.

On Saturday, it all came home to roost. One attendee bought a copy last year and told me how glad she was to see that I’m still out there spreading the message. Several told me they’d heard about the book through this AMAZING video courtesy of HeartThreads. (If you haven’t seen it yet, it’s five minutes that will reaffirm your belief in love. I promise.) Some had seen the book in Barnes & Noble. Some had heard about it when I spoke on-air with WINA. Knowing that the marketing is working — that people are hearing about this book — made all the work worth it.

At Pride last year, I knew a couple of people but the vast majority were strangers to me. This year I saw so many friends I’ve had the fortune to meet over the past 12 months. And I met all kinds of new friends, people who represent every part of the community. Gay. Straight. Trans. Bi. Nonbinary. Asexual. Teens. Adults. Kids. Grandparents. It was a snapshot of life that day, and every encounter was about love, acceptance, and inclusion.

I couldn’t have been happier — not just because I sold so many books, but because it affirmed exactly why I wanted to write this story in the first place. The book is about love, and so is Cville Pride. Hats off to the organizers. I’m already looking forward to next year.

Charlottesville has more pride than hurricanes. And love? Never doubt it: we’ve got that in spades.

This is me.

I’m not a stranger to the dark

Hide away, they say

’cause we don’t want your broken parts.

I’ve learned to be ashamed of all my scars

Run away, they say

no one’ll love you as you are.

But I won’t let them break me down to dust

I know that there’s a place for us

for we are glorious.

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down

I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out.

I am brave, I am bruised,

I am who I’m meant to be.

This is me.

Look out ’cause here I come

And I’m marching on to the beat I drum.

I’m not scared to be seen.

I make no apologies.

This is me.

Another round of bullets hits my skin

Well, fire away ’cause today

I won’t let the shame sink in.

We are bursting through the barricades

And reaching for the sun.

transloveWe are warriors.

That’s what we’ve become.

Won’t let them break me down to dust.

I know that there’s a place for us.

For we are glorious.

 

When the sharpest words wanna break me down

I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out.

This

is

me.

From The Greatest Showman. Lyrics by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul

 

Words have power. Banned words have consequences.

bannedI have tried for the past 24 hours — and failed — to put my swirling thoughts into words for a blog post. I’m trying again now because my mind can’t rest until I get this out there.

It’s the 21st century. What kind of country are we living in where top public health experts can be banned from using words in official documents?

More specifically, what kind of country are we living in where words that define HUMAN BEINGS can be banned?

Beginning with “fetus,” the very definition of life. This new list of banned words would have us do away with this term as though it were dirty or dangerous. If anyone cared, they’d realize it was science-based. Oh, wait…

And moving on to include “diversity,” “vulnerable,” and the one that hit me hardest: “transgender.”

So we should no longer use the word “transgender.” We should pretend as though it doesn’t exist. As though it has no worth, value, or meaning.

It was bad enough when government websites removed information relating to the LGBT community when someone (I’m banning his name) took office. Now the very term is banned?

What does this mean? Are those who are trans suddenly invisible? You ban the word and, POOF!, they cease to exist?

Reading the list of banned words for the first time, I started off appalled, then shocked. Today, I am beyond outraged. My emotions regarding this “list” are all over the place. I’m sickened, saddened, and heartbroken that in the greatest country in the world — supposedly based on the principle of free speech — we have a list of words that are verboten. That the list includes words that describe very real, very human, people I know and care about is beyond my comprehension.

The vice president of Planned Parenthood called the list “reckless” and “unimaginably dangerous.”

You must be able to acknowledge the humanity of transgender people in order to address their health care needs. You cannot erase health inequities of people of color simply by forbidding the use of the words “vulnerable” or “diversity.” — Dana Singiser

I’m still sorting this all out (as you can tell), but in the meantime, I want to leave you with something I read on Facebook that was beautifully written. I don’t know the author, Elena Sands, but I hope she won’t mind me including it here. It was so apt.

The evidence- and science-based facts are that you are wrong. Free speech is our entitlement and diversity is our strength. You will not oppress my transgender family without consequences. You are so desperate to save a fetus against a woman’s wishes, yet fail miserably to help needy children once they’re born. The only vulnerable thing here is your propaganda. You cannot silence us.

We are worthy. Every one of us. Our diversity makes us stronger, and that includes the transgender community, those who are LGBT, and those who are marginalized in any way.

We are all vulnerable right now. God help us.

Transgender Day of Remembrance

It’s a sad day in the transgender community. November 20 is recognized as Transgender Day of Remembrance to honor those who were murdered for being trans. Today is set aside to make sure they’re not forgotten and that they live on, recognized and remembered for their bravery in living their authentic lives.TDOR

There’s a website dedicated to those who’ve died due to anti-trans violence. I encourage you to visit, to read, and to educate yourselves about those who’ve been killed over the past year. And while you’re reading, you might be interested in other resources, like the background GLAAD provides to help journalists understand why TDOR is needed.

I hate that this day is even necessary, and yet I love that we have a way to honor those who died for being themselves. To those who’ve died due to trans violence, I honor your courage and your legacy.

On this Transgender Day of Awareness, I ask that you do something that’s authentically you, no matter how you identify. There’s only one of each of us in this world – we should celebrate that which makes us unique everyday, but today, especially.

What will you do to honor yourself today?