Tag Archives: #trans

What does a #trans person look like?

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If you’ve got a few minutes (like 8, to be precise), please watch this video. Go ahead and do it now … I’ll wait.

<Hums Jeopardy theme perfectly several times in different keys for variety.>

Welcome back! What’d ya think? Since you watched it, you already know that it introduces you to two teens who are transgender and shares their story.

I loved it for several reasons:

  • for the education it gives
  • for the bravery they show in living their authentic lives
  • for the support their loved ones showed

But mostly I love this video because it puts faces on trans people. It shows you that they’re just regular people who want nothing more than for their gender to match what they have already felt in their heart their entire lives.

Several times, the people in this video reiterate: I’m just a human being.

I’m just a human being.

They are. They’re not “scary monsters,” or freaks, or someone trying to use the wrong restroom for nefarious purposes. They’re not confused, or going through a phase, or seeking attention. They’re not anything other than human beings worthy of love, like all of us. Worthy of acceptance, like all of us. Worthy, period.

Please, please watch this video if you don’t understand the trans community, and even if you do. I promise, you’ll get something out of it. If nothing else, it’ll remind you you’re human.

 

 

OrionWisdom and me

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I’m so excited! As my book, Who Am I If You’re Not You? draws closer to launch, there’s all kinds of exciting things happening. Some of it has been planned for awhile, like my upcoming booksigning events at AFK Books in Virginia Beach, VA and at The Abbey in West Hollywood, CA. I’ve also been planning the Nov. 14 launch party at Over The Moon Books and Artisan Gallery in Crozet, VA for a couple of months.

But today I got a wonderful surprise when my book was reviewed/featured in this wonderful newsletter, OrionWisdom. Check it out and subscribe, if you’ve a mind to. Elisabeth Fitzhugh pens this digital newsletter full of thoughts to help you consider your personal spiritual perspective. I was delighted to be included in this month’s issue, and I continue to be humbled by those who believe in and support this book right alongside me. Thanks Elisabeth!

As I gear up for the launch, I’m looking for other ways to publicize this book. Who do you know who might be able to help its message reach those who need to hear it? Can you help me spread the word by sending out an email, or putting something on social media for me? Or maybe you’d consider sharing this blog with someone who’d be interested. I strongly believe someone, somewhere out there, needs to read this book and I want to make sure I’ve done everything I can to get it to them–but I also know I can’t do it alone. Thanks for helping me give this book wings to fly.

Here’s to our journey together. Cheers!

“I’m Pregnant … and I’m a Stud”

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That headline’s not mine but it sure caught my attention, so I stole borrowed it. It belongs to FreedomTwoLove, a blog written by my friend, Rena Ingram, who founded that organization.

I try to bring fresh perspectives to this blog of mine that’s focused on learning about the LGBTQ+ community. Today, I’m excited to introduce you to Rena, an LGBT activist, blogger, motivational speaker, and all around great person to know! Read on to learn more about her and her wonderful organization that’s going to great lengths to reinforce the message of #NOH8.

FreedomTwoLove, A Light for All

FreedomTwoLove originated in February 2014 when it held its first event on the campus of Fort Valley State University under the #NOH8 umbrella as it was called, “#NOH8: Addressing the Misconceptions of the LGBTQ Community.” As the founder and current CEO, at the time I was a senior at the illustrious historically black college and university (HBCU) and was a little apprehensive about holding the event because I had never seen anything of the sort provided on the campus – a mark that specifically supported the LGBTQ+ community. Although I knew I had built the leverage to hold such an event by holding various leadership roles throughout my matriculation at the university, building strong relationships with others on the campus, and holding the title as Student Government Association’s Vice President at that time, it was still nerve wrecking to attempt something that had never been done. I began to develop the mindset that if I didn’t do it, no one else would, and it was just as important then as it is now that I stood as an advocate and created a safe space for others within my community – so I did, and it became a moment that would change my life forever.

In 2015, I returned to the university as an alumnus and held yet another Noh8.png#NOH8 event which I rightfully deemed, “Part II.” The outpouring of support I received at that event pushed me to press play on my ideas and develop my own brand that branched away from the shadows of the #NOH8 movement – a decision that inspired the creation of what is now called, FreedomTwoLove. Freedom is defined as the power to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint, love is unconditionally self-explanatory, and “two” is used as a form of unique wordplay to be inclusive of both gay and lesbian love. This brand is different from every other LGBTQ-ally campaign because it strives to bridge the gap that currently alienates those of the LGBTQ community from their heterosexual peers by creating a safe and supportive space for dialogue through events and monthly blog postings for those of the community and others to generate open conversations about the negative biases and stereotypes that are present and evident in today’s society. Its overall mission is to serve as an aid in the fight against the injustices targeted on the LGBTQ+ community and encourage those within the community to build resilient confidence within themselves while simultaneously raising awareness of what’s going on within the community.

FreedomTwoLove is most popularly known for its blogs that are released on the 2nd of every month, such as, “I’m Pregnant … and I’m a Stud,” “The Fragility of Black Masculinity”, and “#ReclaimingMyTime: Don’t Let Your Story End.” By visiting www.freedomtwolove.com, you can not only keep up with the monthly blogs, but can also stay alert to what’s happening in the LGBTQ+ community with weekly news postings. In addition to being a Group Noh8blogger for the brand, I am also a motivational speaker and certainly a LGBTQ+ advocate as I make my way through various communities in effort of helping my community receive better treatment in all facets of life. One moment in particular that I’m proud of consisted of helping train an academy class of police officers for the Atlanta Police Department with a segment called, “Transgender Interaction Scenarios” along with transgender women in the community to ensure that the new police officers will be respectful in body searches, pronoun usage, etc. once they got out into the field.

Ultimately, I understand that this is one of my life’s missions and I also know that the work has just begun. As long as I have air in my body, I’ll be the voice for others that can’t, won’t, or simply don’t know how; and when it’s all said and done, I can only hope that FreedomTwoLove was a light for all.

 

Trans people are not contagious

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Trans people do not have cooties.

I repeat: trans people do not have cooties. Call the CDC and confirm it if you like, but you cannot catch any transgender germs from hanging out with someone who identifies as trans.

As ridiculous as it feels to type that, apparently there are some people who haven’t gotten the message.

I read this article this morning and was shocked, saddened, and in a bit of disbelief over the statistic it put forth:

27% of Americans don’t want to be friends with someone who’s transgender.

One in four of us.

What the actual fuck?

I cannot understand why. I mean, I really, really can’t make sense of that.

We’re not talking about proposing marriage, sleeping together, or even living in the same household. SIMPLY BEING FRIENDS WITH A TRANS PERSON IS A BIG. FAT. “NO” for one quarter of our population. Wow.

And WHY? Or why not?  Is it fear? Misunderstanding? Disgust? Religion? Judgement? Or something else?

Would love your thoughts on this. What are your experiences? Do you have friends who are trans? If you’re trans, have you had experience that you’d share regarding people who won’t befriend you? I really want to understand this statistic and could use a little help from my friends.

And because I’m not trans, at least I can assume I have some friends…

 

Where’s “Who Am I” now?

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I’m glad you asked!Option A

My book Who Am I If You’re Not You? is now available!

It’s the true story of one woman’s experience when her spouse changes gender. I’m extremely proud of this book because it presents the partner’s viewpoint, which hasn’t been well represented before now. There are a number of books out there that document what it’s like to be trans … but very few take into account what it’s like for the other half of the couple.

You can read more about it at www.whoamithebook.com.

Readers-Choice-Awards-circle-blue-n-gold-768x582

Help me win!

And hey, while you’re at it, maybe you’d consider voting for it! It’s up for an Independent Author award at TCK Publishing. Three steps to voting:

You’re awesome for doing so!!! (Actually, you’re awesome no matter what but this would really help me!)

The book has garnered some amazing reviews. Here’s just a bit of the feedback I’ve received so far:

“Once you start reading this book, you can’t stop.”

“Impressive, vivid, powerful, uncompromisingly honest. It made me cry and it made my heart sing.”

“A non-fiction page-turner, something of an anomaly in my reading experience. A true story, with true heart, told by a true writer.”

“Lynn captures the heart of Jen’s story well. I feel thankful to have read it.”

I hope you’ll consider supporting this book with an order (or two. The holidays are coming, you know).  I truly believe in my heart of hearts this story has the potential to help someone through their dark times, and will educate others who don’t understand what it means to transition.

Come and see me at the launch party! It’ll be held November 14, 2017, at Over the Moon Bookstore & Artisan Gallery in Crozet, VA from 7-9.

 

How a School Bus Driver Made a Wrong Turn with Trans Teens

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Let’s face it: high school can be tough. I mean, pull-out-your-hair, cry-yourself-to-sleep, not-sure-survival-is-possible tough. If the pressures of growing up, getting enough sleep, worrying about your grades and your future aren’t bad enough, there’s the acne/braces/glasses/not-being-popular/forever-feeling-awkward part.

Then there’s the trans part. Then there’s part where the bus driver kicks you off the public school bus because you’re trans.

Wait, what?

Yep, you read that right.

In Glen Falls, NY, a public school bus driver kicked two male-identifying trans students off the bus after they sat with other males. The driver told them they had to sit with the girls, because that was their gender at birth. They politely refused, at which point the driver refused to give them a ride (despite other students standing up for the boys).

I don’t know these boys but I’m outraged on their behalf. And if I’d been their parent — well, let’s just not go there. Why? Why? WHY? They were doing nothing wrong. They weren’t being rowdy, insolent, disrepectful, or disruptive.

They simply wanted to sit with their male peers. And for that, they were forced off a school bus.

I hope administrators within the Glen Falls school system look long and hard at how they’re educating employees about acceptance, tolerance, and inclusion. Clearly it’s needed.

Our children – ALL children – need to know they’re safe. Adults are supposed to provide that safety. We’re supposed to understand when others don’t, and to be nurturing, welcoming, accepting, and loving. We’re expected to be role models. More precisely, we should be counted on to act like grownups.

I’m so glad the others on the bus rallied around these kids. What a lesson we can learn from them!

By the way, there are resources out there dedicated to transforming the educational environment. Cheers for TSER, which is Trans Student Educational Resources, which seeks to create a more trans-friendly education system. Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network, or GLSEN, is another important organization that works to make safe school environments for all students.

I hope Glen Falls school administrators happen across this blog, and I hope they’ll consider working closely with TSER and GLSEN and other similar organizations that can help them better understand how to accept all students.

Which leaves me with a question: Who’s schoolin’ who?

The ABCS of LGBTs (aka, how to teach kids about diversity)

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It’s back to school time, and I’ve seen a lot of FB posts about ensuring thatkids and schools remember that bullying is never okay. So true! As the target of a few bullies growing up, I can recall all too well that feeling of being less-than. I wanted nothing more than to fit in and a few mean-spirited kids made sure I knew I didn’t and never would. It hurts.

Everyone deserves the chance to just be themselves and to be accepted for who they are.

In the spirit of that, I offer you something about how to explain LGBT to kids of all ages, so that children who identify as LGBT don’t feel ostracized. Check out this link from WelcomingSchools.org. It offers kid-friendly definitions that will help a child understand what some of the myriad LGBT terms mean. It also emphasizes the need to make sure that when defining terms for children, it’s smart to use examples to help them understand the definitions.

As with any discussion you have with kids, it’s a good idea to let them lead it. Found what they’ve heard and what they *think* it means, and then clarify as needed.

And it should go without saying, but here’s a prime opportunity to make sure that a child is not using any LGBT term in a derogatory way. They may have heard it used that way; as a caring adult, it’s your job to set them straight (no pun intended!).

Let’s teach our children to be allies instead of bullies!

Hats off to Cville Pride but not a stupid hat vendor

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As if Charlottesville hasn’t had enough to deal with lately, the city’s Pride Festival is now the victim of discrimination.

The Festival organizers were working on merchandise orders, like this awesome purple shirt (in case you didn’t know it, I’m a tried and true purple fan). They also tried to order hats through a company called Legacy Athletics.

Notice I used the word “tried.”  Wanna know what they got in response to the order they placed?  This:

I am sorry for the delay, this is a design that we would not be able to produce.

While Legacy does offer custom logos, we also carefully nurture and protect our brand.  One of the ways we keep a positive connotation to the brand, is by avoiding doing any products with custom logos that might be deemed as controversial, political, offensive, etc.  This does not in any way mean that we either support or do not support the organization making the request, but the reality is that in light of recent events in Charlottesville as well as the fact Gay Pride events are political activism; we respectfully decline this order.  Again, I hope you can understand our position.

Ummm, sorry, no. I don’t understand your position. I understand you’re discriminatory.

So hats may or may not be part of Cville Pride Festival this year. You know who definitely will be? Me. I’ll be there with my book, and I’ll be prouder than ever to let my Ally flag fly.

I hope I’ll see you there, with or without a hat on.

I’d rather write than be pregnant

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Birthing a book is like having a baby in a lot of ways. You carry it around inside of you for a reallllly long time, worrying about it, thinking about it, growing it. You agonize over what to name it. You think about what it will look like, and how amazing it will feel to hold it for the first time.

There are also other similarities. You can’t wait to share the news with others, excitedly talking about every aspect from the story to the cover to the promotion. Don’t forget about the labor pains, which involve waiting and waiting and waiting for it to be edited. For it to be laid out. For it to be printed. And when it’s finally “born,” it’s magical.

Thankfully, the waiting on this little project of mind is nearly over! I’d hoped to be able to launch Who Am I If You’re Not You? in October, but, like having a baby, sometimes it takes a little longer to be born.

I can share with you now that my book will launch on November 14!

That birthday is significant. It has nothing to do with being a Scorpio, and everything to do with it marking the beginning of Transgender Awareness Week. (Hint, if you didn’t already know what this story is about, it deals with trans issues.)

Want to know more? The book’s website is www.whoamithebook.com, and you can check out the prologue. I also feature it on my website, www.lynnthorne.com. Stay tuned to this blog to find out where you can get more sneak peeks at content in the coming months. I can’t wait to share it with you!

Even though the official launch isn’t until November, I will have copies in hand by Labor Day, which I’ll have available at CVILLE Pride Festival on September 16 in Charlottesville, Virginia, and at VAPrideFest in Richmond, Va on Sept. 23. If you’re in the area for either of those events, please stop by my booth and say hi!

You’ll also be able to order it from me directly after Labor Day. It won’t be available on Amazon or in bookstores until the launch, but I’ll be happy to fulfill any orders as soon as I have copies in my hand! Shoot me an email at Lynn@lynnthorne.com and I’ll gladly get you hooked up.

By the way, in case you were wondering, there is one VERY big difference between birthing a book and birthing a baby: when this baby is born, I won’t have to change a single diaper. Sorry, Pampers … your time has come and gone. (Insert “crappy” joke here.)

 

 

The Options These Days

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Today is a guest post from blogger Miss Vee, whose blog I follow (and you should too!). Her down-to-earth style resonates with me and I asked her to share some thoughts for my blog. This entry deals with some really private and intimate thoughts. It’s not the first blog I’ve included about gender and children (check out this post from my friend, Rachel) but it helped me understand better some of the things parents face in raising kids today. Thanks, Miss Vee, for being part of my journey to learn more about the LGBTQ+ community!

“Time’s are a-changin’.” I can hear an old man in my thoughts. They certainly are. I would agree with him. Trans awareness and acceptance is growing. It’s a fascinating sight to behold. Until recently, I only knew them to be cross dressers and drag queens. I never knew that people were born into a different body than what they actually felt they were. With people becoming more aware and more educated about the transsexual community, transitions are starting to happen as young as 4-years old. What brave parents these children are!

It’s evident from an early age that one of my daughters was not like the average tomboy. Her sister would teasingly say she wanted to be a boy and my unique tomboy would say “So?” She has even told me that she would rather date girls than boys. Automatically, I assumed she is lesbian.

My sister has told me numerous times that she will follow in my footsteps because I’m a lesbian. I brush off these comments. I told myself that we would have a serious talk about sexuality when she’s older. She’s a kid. I’m not going to approach the subject unless she does. I want her to her own conclusions.

As years go by, the comments of wanting to be a boy become more frequent. She doesn’t correct people when mistake her for a boy. She’s even tried to convince a kid that she is a boy. At this point, I’m scared that she’s trans. Yes, I know. That sounds very hypocritical coming from a member of the LGBT community. But as a momma bear, you must understand my need to protect my cub. With all the talk of suicides amongst young trans and homicides of adult individuals. I don’t want my baby’s life any harder than it has to be.

But then a couple of days later, she dresses up in lace shirts and putting a flower crown in her hair. This momma bear can’t keep up. And I never have and will never force her to wear anything she does not want to wear. She’s dressing how she feels.

I came across an article during my confusion about a boy being gender fluid. It was an interesting read. His mother states that he doesn’t identify with any gender. He will wear dresses. He doesn’t correct people when they call him a girl but still uses the male pronouns.  I showed this article to my fiancee, and she confirmed what I was feeling. My daughter is gender fluid.

Let me tell you; I was even less aware of gender fluidity. I did not understand it at all until I read that article. Who knew my daughter would be gender fluid.

So, what is gender fluidity?  The Merriam-Webster dictionary describes gender fluidity as “relating to, or being a person whose gender identity is not fixed.”  I read an article on the National Geographic website titled “How Science Is Helping Us Understand Gender”.  The magazine interviewed a girl named E.  She said the term “transgender” didn’t quite fit.  She still went by female pronouns and her given female name.  Individuals who are gender fluid switch between male, female and neutral genders.  (I’ll have to do my research on the neutral gender.)

Read the whole article here:  http://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2017/01/how-science-helps-us-understand-gender-identity/

Now my primary objective is to read up on all that has been written on this subject. I need to know of the issues that can arise, and I need to know how to communicate with her. I need to be her advocate for her as well. If this is who she is, I will make for damn sure that her life isn’t any harder than it has to be.